When one spouse drops the ball on taxes
In the situation above, it's natural to want to help your mother, since she wasn't the one who messed up on their taxes. One thing you should know is that if your parents filed their taxes separately, your mother should not be on the hook for your father's underpaid taxes.
Remember, when taxes go unpaid for a long time, interest and penalties can accrue. But if your mom filed her own tax returns and paid the IRS every dollar she owed, then she shouldn't be in hot water with the agency.
Even if your parents filed joint tax returns, if your father underpaid those taxes, your mother may not be on the hook. Thanks to the IRS' Innocent Spouse Relief policy, one spouse won't necessarily have to pay additional taxes due to a mistake the other spouse made.
It's possible to file for innocent spouse relief as a joint tax filer if your taxes were understated due to mistakes on your return, or you didn't know about the errors. That said, if you're requesting innocent spouse relief, you must do so within two years of receiving an IRS bill or audit notice.
So in the situation above, whether your mom is eligible for relief depends on the timing of how things played out.
Another thing that could help in this situation is for your parents (individually or jointly) to consult a tax attorney. A tax attorney can help your father get current on his taxes via a repayment plan.
An attorney can also try to make sure your mother isn’t harmed financially because of your father’s mistakes. You could also suggest that your parents hire a CPA or work with an enrolled agent to represent them in IRS negotiations.
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Learn MoreShould you get involved in your parents' financial mess?
It's pretty common for parents to help their adult children out financially. A 2024 Savings.com survey found that 47% of parents provide financial support to their grown children.
At the same time, 2024 Pew Research Center data found that 14% of parents received financial help from their children aged 18 to 34 in the past year.
If you're in a position to help your father deal with his IRS mess, it's certainly not a bad thing to offer that support. Just make sure you're not doing it to the detriment of your own finances.
However, a better way to help may be to set your parents up with the right professional who can help them navigate their situation. Remember, you may not be in the best position to dig through the numbers because you're emotionally involved. A professional, however, can handle the situation more objectively.
The other thing to understand is that even if you have the best of intentions, your parents may not react well to you getting too involved. A 2024 U.S. Bank survey found that parents would rather talk to their children about their choice of political candidates than finances. And baby boomer parents were particularly resistant to financial discussions.
So it may be in everyone’s best interest if you were to help out peripherally instead of being directly involved.
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