Sharing life and pet bills
I could Google 'How to discuss money with a future partner when your biggest expense is a small, snorting dog?' Instead, I asked an expert: Ramit Sethi, financial guru and author of Money for Couples.
“I would approach it as you start to talk about money, you simply let them know, ‘Look this is my dog, love my dog, this is about how much I spend on my dog. Here’s how I think we should handle it. What do you think?’” Sethi advises.
‘Love me, love my dog’ may sound reasonable, but the challenge is convincing someone else the cuddles are worth hundreds of dollars a month. For the uninitiated, the cost of dog ownership can come as a shock.
“A pet parent can expect costs of about $100 to over $400, factoring in food, basic veterinary care, grooming, training, insurance and potential pet sitting/boarding services,” says veterinarian Dr. Bethany Hsia.
Liam’s food costs $150 per month. Vet visits run anywhere from $200 to $350 — or more if allergy shots are involved, which they often are. These could be daunting figures for someone new in my life. How do I shift the conversation from how sweet my dog is to the reality that this love comes with a price tag?
Sethi recommends that couples share a joint account for shared expenses, but as a serial overthinker, I can’t help but wonder if that would lead to resentment. Because while love may be priceless, a French Bulldog with allergies definitely isn’t.
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Learn MoreJoint account, personal passions
According to the Journal of Consumer Research, couples who merge their finances are on average happier than those who don’t. Researchers suggest that pooling money fosters a sense of shared goals.
As someone who prides herself on making data-driven decisions (most of the time), I suppose that research should inspire me to open a joint account with my hypothetical future husband. But then again, what about Liam?
While Sethi advocates for couples to have joint accounts, he also insists on maintaining individual accounts for personal spending.
“Every couple should have joint accounts, joint priorities, joint rich life vision,” Sethi says. “And also, you have your own money set aside for safety, security, for spending on the things you — but only you — love.”
This, I fully endorse. But while Liam’s lifestyle will remain my financial responsibility, that doesn't mean my future partner and I won’t discuss money. Sethi says that it’s less about who pays for dog food than both partners’ willingness to discuss finances openly.
“The biggest financial red flag is a partner who will not talk about money and if anything is a deal breaker when it comes to money, it is that,” he warns.
And really, if a future boyfriend isn’t willing to discuss a shared financial future — including, say, an emergency fund for Liam’s inevitable seasonal allergies — then he probably isn’t my forever person anyway.
Money, like love, is an ongoing conversation. And if we can talk about a Roth IRA, we can talk about doggy daycare.
In the end, if I’m going to commit to someone for the rest of my life, they’ll have to love both me and my dog.
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